Low Pressure, No Pleasure!

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Tonight I “enjoyed” what can only be described as a “tinkle.” If the pressure in the shower had been horrible, I would have called it a “sprinkle” but it wasn’t that good. When I got in the shower, I turned on the water to hear what can only be described as my pipes sighing. “Oh Crap, we have to work!” What spilled forth was the poorest excuse for a shower I have ever seen. It took about 4 days for the hot water to appear and when it did, it was exhausted. I found myself feeling sorry for the little water droplets as then seemed to be having such a hard time getting up to the level of my head. Maybe if I laid down… After about 10 minutes of extensive contortionism trying to get every inch of my body wet, I realized that my feet and the floor were still dry. It was like sweating in the desert, the moisture was evaporating and soaking in before it could get that low.

After soaping up I undertook the long arduous task of rinsing off. I used my hands to scoop and splash water everywhere. Faster and faster I scooped. My arms flailed around like an octopus fending off a school of piranha. Then the thought hit me. I am going to have to do a handstand to rinse my feet.

Finally it was over. I toweled off and fell naked on the bed- too exhausted to get dressed. My wife came in and demanded to know why I hadn’t hung up the towel. I just lay there like a slug- it was my only defense. Tomorrow I think I’ll bathe in the river…

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